mahalwords, things we know

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

During all police investigations it will be necessary to
visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up
to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on
the man lying beside her.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there
and you can travel to any other part of the building you
want without difficulty.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent
will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his
wounds.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen
at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man
invulnerable to bullets.

If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that
could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for
goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright and
pant.

A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to
go off.

When in love, it is customary to burst into song.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm
and wisecracks are your best weapons.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing
them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be
investigated more closely.

If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a
bath.  German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

Freelance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept
bookings from international terrorist organizations - even
though the job will require them to shoot total strangers
and will end in their own certain death as the helicopter
explodes in a ball of flames.

Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings -
especially if any of their family or friends have died in a
strange boating accident.

All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of
software.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is
their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English
to each other.

Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or
criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by
their actions.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked in seconds with a credit card or a
paper clip-- unless it's the door to a burning building with
a child trapped inside.

You can tell if somebody is British because they will be
wearing a bow tie.

When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but
at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the
entire journey.

An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will
cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

Having a job of any kind will make a father forget his son's
8th birthday.

Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned
down three days before their retirement.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a
world expert in nuclear fission at age 22.


Submitiert von Raphi




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