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Comparative Analysis: Religious and Spiritual Philosophies


Taoism: Shit happens. 

Confucianism: Confucius say: "Shit happen." 

Buddhism: If shit happens, it really isn't shit. 

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? 

Hinduism: This shit happened before. 

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. 

Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. 

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. 

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us? 

Atheism: Shit happens for no apparent reason. 

Jehovah's Witness: Let us in and we'll tell you why shit happens. 

Hare Krishna: Shit happens, shit happens, shit happens happens. 

Paganism: Shit is part of the Goddess, too. 

Scientology: Do-Do occurs. 

Mormon: Shit happens somewhere else. 

New Age: I now allow the shit in my life to happen freely and completely. 

Christian Science: If shit happens, you're not praying hard enough. 

12-Step Programs: Shit happens, but it's not as bad as it used to be. 


Reprinted by permission from "A Jester's Best" by Col. Harry S. Bachstein, copyright 1996 
by Polaris Publishing Group. 



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