ana.words, airline announcements

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the
"in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a
bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have
been heard or reported:

After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express.
We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we
enjoyed taking you for a ride."

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, margarine
cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the
mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child
traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with
theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child
...pick your favorite.

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken
clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive.
Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money,
more than Southwest Airlines."

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the
event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore
and take them with our compliments."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly
among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or
spouses."

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect
landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain
Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd
like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the
next time you get the urge to go blasting through the skies
in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here
at US Airways."


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